Movie Lists

4 Unthankful Movies from Redbox for November – ‘Mechanic: Resurrection’ & More

Published

4 years ago

October 31, 2016

Nine Lives Mechanic Resurrection Redbox MovieSpoon.com

Need to know when awful movies like Mechanic: Resurrection hit Redbox? Read on to find out when Mechanic: Resurrection, The Wild Life and more will come to a Redbox near you!

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]here’s a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, but these stinkers from Redbox are not among them. Look, I know all the gorging on roast turkey and Halloween candy will make you do stupid things at the grocery store or gas station. But, please, try to avoid these titles at Redbox kiosks this November. There’s only four this month so it won’t be that hard.

Read more to see the worst Redbox titles of November, including Mechanic: Resurrection:

#1. Nine Lives

Barry Sonnenfeld (Men in Black) has truly hit rock bottom with this most baffling of family comedies built specifically for Redbox. Kevin Spacey plays a rich snob that neglects his family, only to have his soul transferred into a cat. As a cat, Spacey must reconnect with his family in his feline form or he’ll be a cat forever.

I’ve seen many of these tired pet movies with a similar premise from Redbox, but not with the talents of Kevin Spacey, Christopher Walken and Jennifer Garner. Believe it or not, I actually expected better from Sonnefeld as well. A strong contender for the worst movie of the year, Nine Lives is loaded with cheap special effects, cat slapstick and more boozing than I ever thought possible in a family movie.

#2. Mechanic: Resurrection

Who asked for a sequel to Jason Statham’s forgettable action picture The Mechanic? How many Redbox rentals of the original did it take for this movie to be made? There’s nothing worth returning to this character for; Statham merely trots around the globe fighting mercenaries almost effortlessly.

Not only is this type of action routine, it’s schizophrenic! This script can’t decide what the hell it wants to be, bobbing between brutal action, thrilling action and campy-stupid action, never hitting the mark on any of them. There’s no major change to the protagonist as he fakes his death once more in anticipation for another sequel. And if you rent this at Redbox, I’m sure that horrible little dream will come true.

#3. Yoga Hosers

Kevin Smith has come a long way since Clerks. A director who once tapped into knowing dialogue of frustrated young employees now turns his daughter and her friend into annoying jokes. The latest in Smith’s horror trilogy, spinning off from 2013’s Tusk, Yoga Hosers finds convenience store clerks Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp facing off against Nazi Smurfs. No, seriously, they’re pint-sized Nazis. They defeat these tiny monsters by using their yoga moves. No, seriously, they actually do.

Johnny Depp additionally pops up as a poor man’s excuse for Inspector Clouseau with a comically fake mustache. And, as if all that weren’t farfetched and silly enough, Smith and Depp sing far too many songs that it makes one wonder if this wasn’t intended to be a musical. With bad acting, swing-and-miss comedy and lacking in any true suspense, it’s a trainwreck of a Smith production that’s destined to be one of this year’s worst at Redbox.

#4. The Wild Life

If this cheap animated picture slipped under the radar of your family, consider yourself thankful. The Wild Life attempts to portray the adventures of Robinson Crusoe through the eyes of talking animals that surround him. But this is far from the likes of Pixar or DreamWorks in that we follow personality-free characters with no memorable lines, jokes or arcs. The only consistent villain in this picture is a pair of cats fighting to feed their kittens, but there’s no arc to them either: just an excuse for slapstick. It’s not the least bit surprising that the American release was titled The Wild Life instead of its original title, Robinson Crusoe. Nobody wants to see a Robinson Crusoe movie at Redbox and bring it home only to discover fart jokes and tired slapstick.

[author title=”About the Author” image=”http://popstermedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/mark_mcpherson-300×221-150×150.jpg”]Movie Reviewer Mark McPherson has been all about movies since working at a video store in his youth. His talents range from video editing to animation to web development, but movies have always been his passion to write about.[/author]

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Key to the City

Key to the City x Bond

Published

1 year ago

November 21, 2019

Matt

—Agent: The following is for your eyes only—

Talk about a character who won’t live and let die! Just like our Andy from Key to the City (which you should check out now by the way!), James Bond has had many different faces over the years (though Andy’s face literally changes every morning he wakes up ????), which got me wondering about the best James Bond flick of all time. So read on and find out which movie gets a license to kill! Ok, I’m done with the puns now.

Moonraker (1979)

Inspired by the success of Star Wars, Moonraker is an awesome, spacey James Bond movie.

Golden Eye (1995)

We love Sean Bean in pretty much everything, and he’s perfect as villain Alec Trevelyan/Janus, a rogue former MI6 agent. There’s also Famke Janssen, who has super-powered killer thighs.

Thunderball (1965)

This movie has one of the most iconic James Bond moments ever–when a gorgeous woman in a bathtub asks Bond for something to wear, he simply hands her a pair of shoes.

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

As much as we love the actors who play James Bond, the villains are just as interesting. It doesn’t get much better than Christopher Lee playing a deranged assassin.

Casino Royale (2006)

Casino Royale did a remarkable job at painting James Bond as a real human, a trend which would follow in Daniel Craig’s later Bond movies. Eva Green’s portrayal of Vesper Lynd was a welcome twist on the standard Bond girl.

Dr. No (1962)

The very first of the James Bond films featured Sean Connery facing off against Doctor No, a crazed nuclear scientist. It set the standard for every Bond movie that followed.

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Though Roger Moore may not be people’s favorite James Bond, the worldwide scenery and crazy sets–like the ocean hideout–gave The Spy Who Loved Me a grand scale.

Skyfall (2012)

From Adele’s beautiful theme to the gorgeous cinematography, it’s impossible for Skyfall not to make an impression. This was Daniel Craig’s best appearance as James Bond, and Javier Bardem provides a terrifying counterbalance.

From Russia with Love (1963)

Sean Connery is one of our favorite James Bonds ever, and for good reason. In his second stint as the spy, Connery shines alongside former Miss Rome Daniela Bianchi. This is one of the most spy-feeling movies of any of the Bond films.

Goldfinger (1964)

Hailed as the “ultimate Bond” movie by many sources, Goldfinger featured Sean Connery in his third run as James Bond. Plus, who can forget one of the most memorable exchanges in film history? “Do you expect me to talk?” “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!”

Izzy

16 Sultry Movie Vampires That Will Make You BEG for Immortality from Izzy

Published

1 year ago

November 21, 2019

Matt

[dropcap]W[/dropcap]hen it comes to immortality, we’ve got you covered with the Gods and Goddesses in Izzy. But when it comes to sexy immortality, vampires are the clear winners. Seriously, who can possibly think werewolves are remotely close to being as enticing as vampires are? It’s in a vampire’s very nature to be seductive, using their charms to win over victims.

And by “win over,” we mean “suck the life out of.” They’ve got those pointy fangs for a reason, after all, and they know how to use them.

We probably shouldn’t find vampires as attractive as they are, but we can blame the Hollywood bigwigs for casting ridiculously good-looking actors as our favorite monsters. Here are 16 of the Sexiest Movie Vampires ever:

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Gabby Goes to College

The 16 Greatest Villains That Will Make You Join the Dark Side

Published

1 year ago

November 21, 2019

Matt

[dropcap]A[/dropcap]s much as everyone likes to cheer on the hero, there are certain movies where you can’t help but feel some sympathy for the baddie. Sometimes, it’s good to be bad. Just ask Gabby… or better yet, check out Gabby Goes to College and find out why. Sometimes though, bad just means plain ol’ bad… and we love it. Here are the 16 greatest movie villains ever:

#16. Commodus

Joaquin Phoenix, Gladiator (2000)

He murdered his father to seize the throne, which doesn’t really start his rule off on a good foot.

#15. Loki

Tom Hiddleston, The Avengers (2012)

This was the movie that put Tom Hiddleston on the map. Who wouldn’t want to follow the charismatic god of mischief?

#14. Wicked Witch of the West

Margaret Hamilton, The Wizard of Oz (1939)

The flying monkeys may have been creepier, but the Wicked Witch of the West was the mastermind behind it all.

#13. Freddy Kreuger

Robert Englund, A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Nightmares are already scary enough before Freddy Kreuger finds his way into your mind.

#12. Hans Gruber

Alan Rickman, Die Hard (1988)

The German terrorist wouldn’t have been the same without the late Alan Rickman. Only his voice could leave such an impact on lines like, “That’s a very nice suit, Mr. Takagi. It would be a shame to ruin it.”

#11. Sauron

The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003)

Sauron is massively powerful, but his full power isn’t realized without his trusty ring. Unfortunately for the rest of Middle Earth and especially Frodo, he wants it back.

#10. Hans Landa

Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Quentin Tarantino refers to Hans Landa as the best character he’s ever created. Best, but possibly most chilling.

#9. Voldemort

Ralph Fiennes, Harry Potter franchise (2005-2011)

The darkest wizard of all time murdered Harry Potter’s parents before attempting to kill Harry himself, who was a baby at the time. Who does that? Only one of the greatest villains ever.

#8. Bruce the Shark

Jaws (1975)

You only need to hear the music to know you’re in trouble.

#7. Michael Myers

Tony Moran, Halloween (1978)

He wears a creepy mask that must be hard to see out of and never seems to run, but somehow he always catches up to his victims.

#6. The Joker

Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight (2008)

Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker was chilling. It won the actor a posthumous Oscar for his work.

#5. Count Dracula

Bela Lugosi, Dracula (1931)

Not only is Dracula one of the most classic monsters, Bela Lugosi’s portrayal is a classic performance.

#4. Jigsaw

Tobin Bell, Saw (2004)

Having a strong desire to live is one thing, but Jigsaw takes things too far when he tests other people’s will to do the same by making them mutilate themselves.

#3. Amon Goeth

Ralph Fiennes, Schindler’s List (1993)

Goeth oversaw a Jewish labor camp during WWII, where he’d occasionally shoot prisoners just for the heck of it.

#2. Hannibal Lecter

Anthony Hopkins, Hannibal (2001)

He eats people, but somehow you’re still rooting for this eerie movie villain.

#1. Darth Vader

David Prowse, Star Wars Franchise (1977-1983)

Though he’s most known for his heavy breathing and telling Luke about that whole paternity thing, Darth Vader, above all, strikes fear into his enemies’ hearts.