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Movie Review: ‘Blair Witch’ Should Remain Lost in the Woods

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Blair Witch Movie Review MovieSpoon.com

Can Blair Witch capture the subtle terror of it’s predecessor? Read our movie review to find out:

[dropcap]H[/dropcap]ow soon do we forget what made movies great? Most everyone from 1999 remembers the cultural phenomenon of The Blair Witch Project as a film that was admirable for being cheap and scary for feeling real.

Whereas other found footage movies merely attempt to stage a realistic recording, The Blair Witch Project truly felt as though someone had found a mysterious tape in the woods from people that went missing. A witch is never seen and no blood is spewed as the only bodily fluids seen are tears and snot from a fearful confession.

Blair Witch Movie Review MovieSpoon.com

Don’t worry, the new movie still has plenty of bodily fluids.

It should be clear as day what made this movie great: less is more. The filmmakers didn’t need bodies flying, loud jump-scares, bloody wounds or computer-generated monsters to make their film genuinely terrifying. But in 2016, we apparently need all of these for a horror picture.

The new Blair Witch lacks any and all appeal as it falls into a repetition of both the original movie and current horror trends. The brother of one of the unlucky three campers from the previous pictures decides to venture out into the same woods his sister was lost in and find out what happened to her. New footage was found and he becomes determined to track down his sister with the help of his friends. We don’t know much about this foursome except that they’re all friends and one of them is a filmmaker. The movie is more preoccupied with them squabbling about paper-thin relationships, getting drunk at a club and setting up their equipment for the expedition.

Blair Witch Movie Review MovieSpoon.com

The group of friends nobody really cares about.

Committed to capturing everything they say, all of them wear mobile cameras as earpieces, carry an extra camera for filming and bring along a flying drone camera so they always have a top view of the area. Keeping it safe, each of their cameras has GPS and all of them bring along walkie-talkies. They even bring along a freaky local couple that film the journey into the woods on an older DV model in case the digital cameras fail. Armed with flashlights, food, first-aid kits, tents and sleeping bags, they appear to be armed for anything these woods can throw at them. Everything, that is, except for the curse of a witch.

For the entire first half of the movie, nothing interesting happens. The characters goof around, babble a truckload of exposition about the dark legends of the woods and have their hearts race when they think they hear a noise or a voice. They toy with the cameras, tell a ghost story over a fire and reaffirm their disbelief in magic.

I’m sure these scenes were intended to let us know and love the characters, but they’re so steeped in the very basics of horror victim setup that I couldn’t care less about them. They’re just meat for the horror movie formula. Don’t worry if you forget their names; they’ll be sure to scream them in the woods when they get lost.

Blair Witch Movie Review MovieSpoon.com

The stick dolls return!

In the second act, there is a bit of a mystery in how the woods begin to toy with the group. A bloody wound begins to spasm as it refuses to heal. Time begins to escape our characters as they awake at odd hours and find themselves wandering for different amounts of days when split up. The trees begin to entrap the campers as twigs and vines surround their paths and block their routes. And those iconic dolls made out of twigs and rope make their presence known when the unwitting campers awake to them in the morning.

Read more of our Blair Witch movie review to get the scoop on the ending:

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Izzy

Movie Magic: The De-Aging Technique of The Irishman

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Robert DeNiro de-agedHave you read Izzy yet? If so, you know that Izzy makes the apples that give the Gods their youth and immortality. It also seems Robert De Niro discovered one of Izzy’s apples too… In Martin Scorsese’s upcoming biographical film, he stars as Frank “The Irishman” Sheeran, a labor union leader and alleged hitman for the Bufalino crime family. The trailer for the movie, which will premieres NEXT WEEK (!), also features a “de-aged” De Niro. “We’re so used to watching them as the older faces,” Scorsese said in an interview on the A24 podcast. “Does it change the eyes at all? …If that’s the case, what was in the eyes that I liked? Was it intensity? Was it gravitas? Was it threat?…How do we get that? I don’t know.” Some might consider this magic and I for one can’t wait to see the impact of Izzy’s apples on screen for myself. ????

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“Captain Marvel” Retains Top Slot at the Box Office

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It’s no surprise that in its second weekend, the first Marvel Cinematic Universe of 2019 is still riding high. Captain Marvel, the latest in the MCU with Brie Larson starring as the lead, generated another $69 million over the weekend, placing its domestic total at $266 million. Tallying up the international box office, the film’s global total to date is $760 million. Despite the online controversy, the film is looking to be another strong box office smash for Disney and Marvel.

As for the premieres for the weekend, and there were plenty, they were all over the map. Just below Captain Marvel was the animated adventure Wonder Park, bringing in $16 million, another film with controversy when the director’s name was removed from the picture after sexual harassment charges. Five Feet Apart, the dying teen drama about a romance amid cystic fibrosis, only came in at #3 with a weekend gross of $13 million. And debuting the lowest in the top 10 for debuts was Captive State, a sci-fi dystopian tale, only making $3 million. The film debuted so low the little film No Manches Frida 2 was able to sneak about it at #6 with a gross of $3.8 million.

Drops were fairly low all around for the returning films, mostly because Captain Marvel was dominating the previous weekend. The only milestone worth noting is that The LEGO Movie 2, after six weeks at the box office, finally cracked $100 million. And the sun is now setting on Green Book’s post-Oscar run by coming in at #10 for the final weekend of its top 10 run over the past few weeks.

View the full top ten weekend box office results below:

Captain Marvel ($69,318,000)

Wonder Park ($16,000,000)

Five Feet Apart ($13,150,000)

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World ($9,345,000)

Tyler Perry’s A Madea Family Funeral ($8,085,000)

No Manches Frida 2 ($3,894,000)

Captive State ($3,163,000)

The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part ($2,135,000)

Alita: Battle Angel ($1,900,000)

Green Book ($1,277,000)

Next weekend, Captain Marvel may very well have some competition when Jordan Peele’s new horror film Us hits over 3,600 theaters.

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“Dragon” Continues To Soar, “Funeral” Close Behind, “Green Book” Back

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With little competition for the weekend, How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World, the third in the animated fantasy saga, was able to secure the box office once more. In its second weekend, the animated epic made $30 million to push its domestic total to $97 million. So far the film has done about the same as the previous film and is on track to stay in the top 10 for a few more weeks in March.

Debuts this weekend were small with one big exception. Tyler Perry’s latest Madea film, A Madea Family Funeral, naturally made a relatively big splash with its dedicated audience. Starting at #2, the film made $27 million for its first weekend. No word on the budget yet but it’s most likely on a budget as most Tyler Perry productions are, so it’s safe to call this a success, especially for debuting with a box office so close to Dragon.

The rest of the premieres were not as strong at all. Greta, the new thriller starring Chloe Moretz, debuted all the way down at #8 with $4.5 million box office. To be fair, however, the film was in a constant battle for its spot as three other films also reported earnings around $4 million for the weekend. Of note, Green Book, fresh off winning the Academy Award for Best Picture one weekend ago, splashed back into more theaters to arise even higher in the top 10 with its domestic total now sitting at $73 million. Don’t count on it remaining there long as bigger blockbusters will be swooping as we plow through the last remnants of winter movies.

Check out the full listing of the top 10 box office weekend results below:

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World ($30,046,000)

Tyler Perry’s A Madea Family Funeral ($27,050,000)

Alita: Battle Angel ($7,000,000)

The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part ($6,615,000)

Green Book ($4,711,000)

Fighting With My Family ($4,691,284)

Isn’t it Romantic ($4,645,000)

Greta ($4,585,000)

What Men Want ($2,700,000)

Happy Death Day 2U ($2,516,000)

Next weekend is once again all about Marvel as their latest superhero solo film, Captain Marvel, will be appearing in 4,100 theaters.

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